Here's The Jewelry Man on the 2006 VMA's: The VMA's is a place where people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like. The Jewelry Man.telling you that people thought this would be an award show -- but they couldn't get the musicians to run away from white powder.

And now.The VMA wrap up's according to The Jewelry Man.

Best New Couple of the Night: LL Cool J and 50 Cent.

Here's Jack Black to MTV on the VMA's before the show: This show has been lame farts for the past 20 years. And I'm going to light the match!

Here's Jack Black in a skit during the VMA's on how the awards show had about as much spontaneity as an episode of Cribs: You didn't bring the thunder. You didn't bring anything.

Here's EbenGregory on the lecture from former Vice President Al Gore on global warming: When does the phrase "here's a photo of a glacier melting" ever fit into an awards show?

The Jewelry Man has grown weary of such talk.so read about the winner's he liked yourself.

Video of the Year
Panic! At the Disco: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"

Best Male Video
James Blunt: "You're Beautiful"

Best Female Video
Kelly Clarkson: "Because of You"

Best Rap Video
Chamillionaire: "Ridin'"

Best R&B Video
Beyonce feat. Slim Thug: "Check On It"

Best Hip-Hop Video
Black Eyed Peas: "My Humps"

Best Dance Video
Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg: "Buttons"

Best Direction In A Video
Gnarls Barkley: "Crazy" (Director: Robert Hales)

Best Choreography In A Video
Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean: "Hips Don't Lie"

Best Special Effects In A Video
Missy Elliott: "We Run This"

That's it...or at least that's what I saw in between naps.

Click here to Watch EbenGregory - EbenGregory Does The 2006 VMA Wrap Up