Jewelry Man One-Liners (Talking Crack Pipe Edition).

Let EbenGregory tell it, telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn’t it? In another 8 minute episode of bullsh*t called THE JEWELRY REPORT, Rick Ross denies the rumor allegedly started by Trick Daddy that he was a former CO in Dade County. Two words: Wet t-shirt!!!

Let EbenGregory tell it… marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution? In another non-exciting episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Jeezy tells Keyshia Cole that he’s not gonna be able to do it after she asked for his hand in marriage.

Let EbenGregory tell it, the way to find the real boss is to find out who hires the lawyers. In another exciting boring episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, the 40/40 employees file a class action lawsuit against the Jigga Man accusing him of paying slave wages with no overtime.

Let EbenGregory tell it, it’s better to be disliked than pitied… but Amy Winhouse didn’t get that memo. In another hi hater episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Amy goes in on Kanye West in front of 200,000 people and explains why she thinks he’s a p*ssy.

Let EbenGregory tell it, when choosing between two evils, DMX always likes to try the one he’s never tried before. In another super non-exciting episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, DMX finds out why it’s not a good idea to purchase cocaine and marijuana from undercover cops.

Jewelry Man One-Liners (Man Hug Edition).

Let EbenGregory tell it, the happiest time of anyone’s life is just after the first divorce… somebody cc Nick Cannon please. In another stupid episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Mariah and Nick Carey are allegedly headed for splitsville according to MSNBC.

Let EbenGregory tell it, to tell the story or not to tell the storyÖthat is the question. In another non-happy go lucky episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Ne-Yo allegedly makes a diss record aimed at Chris Brown after Chris allegedly was talking sh*t about Ne-Yo. Three words: Oh for real.

Let EbenGregory tell it, everything’s funny as long as it’s happening to someone else. In another non-hating episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, 50 Cent embarrasses Young Buck by releasing a taped conversation which reveals details of Buck’s dire financial situation.